Monday, January 3, 2011

Monday Media Rant: Time To Retire, Brent

He’s 71; he was the main part of the old CBS “The NFL Today”, which set the pattern for every pre-game show done since the debut of “The NFL Today”; he’s called some great games; he has engendered drinking games (because of his frequent use of the word “pardner” – not partner, but “pardner”); but now it’s time for Brent Musberger to retire.

He can call the national championship game a week from tonight, but after that, he should quit.

It’s just that I can’t stand to hear him say “WES-consin” one more time, and if I’m forced to endure it again during the Big Ten basketball season, I swear I’ll finally make good on my threat to turn the TV sound off and listen to Matt LePay on the radio broadcast.

Musburger was born out west, where they pronounce the vowels a bit differently that we do in the Midwest, but he went to school at Northwestern and worked in Chicago long enough to know that it’s not WESconsin and it’s not ELLenoy.

And his apparently deliberate mispronunciation of the name of our state has drawn criticism from his colleagues in the profession and from newspaper columnists.

He’s got to be aware of it, so I think he does it just to piss us off. Take a hike, Brent. Hang up your spurs. Let yourself out to pasture. Enjoy your golden years. But please, just leave.

And take that damnable no-talent Joe Buck with you.

And, truth to be told, I wouldn’t be so sensitive about it if the Badgers hadn’t stunk so horribly in that damnable football game Saturday.


  1. I felt a small pang over the Badgers' loss on Saturday. I didn't think about it until Sunday. Perhaps the Packer victory over Da Bears compensates somewhat?

    Musburger was always a very professional broadcaster...just a bit too smarmily glib for my taste.

    The Town Crank

  2. At least Bob Griese got the memo about "WES-consin." I laugh every time he says it now because you can tell he's really trying hard to get it right.

    But, Brent LOVES Madison. I've never heard him as effusive about any other college town, shouting out names of restaurants, nightspots and sites. So...I guess I'd give him a pass for a few more years. So he can keep saying:

    "You're looking LIVE at beautiful Madison, Wisconsin."

  3. Buck's the result of patronage. But few statements get the blood pumping like "You're looking LIVE..." He, like Al Michaels, as earned the right to walk on his own terms. My guess is he calls whatever games he wants these days.

  4. If it's any consolation, out here on the eastern outpost of civilization you can hear "Brent Mooseburger" turn up in otherwise serious conversations from time to time.

    When it comes to matters elocutionary, midwesterners can easily find dialoguery in this place to be as pleasant as fingernail on a blackboard.

    We don't often encounter such offenses as EYE-talian (there's a preponderance of Italians on the island I call home). But the Italians here are prone to horrifying cheese-loving auslanders by referring to mozzarella cheese simply as "moutz."

    A particular grievance is the widespread mangling of the simple, obvious word "hammock." Any (seemingly a majority here) who call it a "hammick"ought to be made to sleep in one.

    On the premise that a well-informed traveler is a happy traveler, I herewith offer this link to a most unusual map:

    Navigate to the map itself (top left of the quirky Web page) and explore how they say things here and there. Make sure you have your computer's sound amped up.

    Forewarned is forearmed. If your ears are particularly sensitive, you may be surprised how much of the country is best avoided, or at least passed through at flank speed. For example, the sprawling "hillbilly" realm, with its close cuzzins, is enough to make flying attractive again. The whole of Broooklyn? Fugheddaboudit.