Now that the so-called “CPA Caucus” has brought its powerful
microscope to bear on the UW-System budget, perhaps these four horsemen of the
monetary apocalypse could shine some light on the Wisconsin Economic
Development Corporation, which has “lost track” of millions and millions of
taxpayer dollars and has self-admittedly failed to follow fundamental
accounting procedures.
For those who don’t follow the game closely, a bit of
background.
Several days ago the “CPA Caucus” – that’s what they call
themselves – took a close look at the UW-System budget and found it has a $648
million dollar cash reserve.
CASH RESERVE! CASH
RESERVE!
The politicians and talk show hosts quickly translated that
difficult-to-understand accounting term as “slush fund”.
The “CPA Caucus” (all Republican state representatives:
Howard Marklein, Chris Capenga, John Klemke, and Dale Kooyenga) are four guys
who are actual CPA’s. I’d never heard of
them before the UW Cash Reserve flap, but then I don’t follow politics that
closely.
When the four CPA/Legislators sent ‘round their news escape
about the cash reserve, pundits and talk show hosts of every stripe
pounced. This was the worst piece of
information ever uncovered, to hear some of them. My old pal from the Fox Cities, Mike Ellis,
nearly popped a blood vessel in his apoplectic rants against Kevin Reilly, the
head of the UW System. Hiding vast sums
of cash, cash which, well, it was cash, and to a politician, cash is crack.
Another politician, Robin Vos, whose IQ is somewhere between
the average May temperature of Lake Mendota and the July average daily high temperature
in Madison, proclaimed to all who would listen that the UW had done nothing but
embarrass the state time and again.
That assessment from Vos may be the single most stupid and
least truthful statement ever uttered by a politician anywhere. If not, it’s got to be in the top five. Our state legislature has done more to
embarrass this state in the last ten minutes than anything ever done by any UW
System school in the past 165 years.
But the talk show hosts grabbed onto this stuff like BluRay
players falling off a truck. The $648 million
quickly became “a billion dollar slush fund” in talk show lingo, and the usual
suspects – Charlie and Mark in Milwaukee, Jerry in Green Bay, Miss Vicki in
Madison – even my pal Mitch Henck on WIBA-AM in Madison did their best to
demagogue this “billion dollar slush fund” into the worst evil ever perpetrated
upon the state.
One morning last week I was listening to Mitch rant about
it, and he opened the phone lines to his callers to allow them to weigh
in. I was on the Beltline headed for my health
club - Princeton Express near PD and Seminole Highway - when the first caller
stunned Mitch by saying he thought given the size of the UW System (5.9 Billion
dollar budget, 181,000 students on 26 campuses), a cash reserve of 648 million
seemed prudent.
For the math-challenged, as a percentage, that 12% cash
reserve the UW System has is almost identical to the cash reserve the City of
Madison runs: 12%.
The next caller was a woman, who also said she thought it
was prudent. Mitch said “well, you must
not be the parent of a UW student, because the parents are the ones who are
getting jabbed here”. The woman paused a
beat, and then said “I put two kids through the UW. I had to take a second job to do it, but I
did it. And I think they got a great
education and I think the 648 million dollar reserve is prudent”. Wisely, Mitch moved on. (This is what the young folks call “getting
pwned”.)
The next caller, probably a regular, because Mitch
recognized him, and said “you’re a businessman so I know you have strong
feelings about this slush fund” – and, damn! The businessman said he thought,
as a businessman, that the cash reserve was prudent. Pwned again!
By this time I was sitting in my huge gas-sucking
foreign-made SUV in the parking lot of the health club, enjoying a laugh at my
pal Mitch’s expense, and a FOURTH caller said “prudent”. Then I went in and pounded the treadmill and
punished the weights. I’m not sure if
Mitch was able to gin up any hatred for the UW system because by the time I was
done with my routine, Robin was giving the news and then Mitch was on to
another topic.
It’s the job of talk show hosts to frame topics to generate
emotion (and calls), because I’m sure if Mitch were speaking from the heart,
considering the high praise he has graciously heaped on the folks at UW
Hospital who treated and rehabilitated him after his recent stroke, he knows
the UW has done more good for this state by 9AM on any given day, than any politician
will do in their entire career.
And, speaking of posturing – I know posturing is part of the
politician’s stock-in-trade, and few are better at it than Michael Gary Ellis. However, far too many of the dweebs up there
under the big top are what I would describe as somewhat clever, not
intelligent. There’s a huge difference.
To borrow the title of a dear friend’s blog, Here’s The
Thing: maintaining a cash reserve is prudent. There is simply no other way to
look at it. You can argue that it
shouldn’t take four CPA’s to decipher the UW System’s financial statement to
uncover it, but you can also argue that hiding the cash reserve from the
politicians is a very sound strategy, as well.
In the most recent state budget, Governor Walker and his pals in the
legislature raided at least 400 million dollars in funds for purposes other
than which they were intended. And don’t
get me going about Jim Doyle and the Transportation Fund.
Now, if only those men in the “CPA Caucus” would take a
close look at the budget of the Wisconsin Economic Development Corporation –
the outfit Walker and his government-hating pals set up to replace the
Department of Commerce and thereby dole out high-paying patronage jobs to their
pals in the private sector – they might be able to find where those missing
millions are, and straighten things up around there.
Naw. Ain’t gonna
happen.
