Lindsay Lohan: Meh.....

One of the certain signs of aging is that you no longer recognize many of the names and faces on the tabloids at the Uber-market checkout line. A couple weeks ago, my wife and I were in one of those lines at a local mass-discount grocery store, and I recognized only two of the names on the most prominently-displayed tabloid: Kardashian and Gibson. My wife recognized one of the other names, but drew a blank on all the rest.

I know Gibson from his movies; I liked the Lethal Weapon series; wound up sitting behind three nuns at a local matinee screening of “Passion Of The Christ” (these elderly Brides of Jesus hadn’t been to a movie since the 60’s, and I had to keep reassuring them that yes, this was the correct theatre, and yes, eventually they would stop running all the trailers and ads and actually show the movie); now, Gibson is apparently just another drunken racist boor with deep personal problems.

I knew the name Kardashian from the OJ Simpson trial. The late Robert Kardashian was one of the phalanx of expensive lawyers on OJ’s defense team. I was NOT aware that he is actually the father of the “celebutantes” (I had no idea there was such a term until I Googled “Kardashian”) Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, who have apparently come to fame by starring in several quite racy amateur porn videos.

The amount of coverage of Lindsay Lohan’s adventures is obscene. It seemed to be on every TV channel I scanned during breakfast yesterday morning; there was a story about her release from jail on the local news radio station; it was all over the internet. Not just a blurb or a mention; even CNN did a long piece about her release from jail. I’ve seen none of her movies and know about her only because the media keeps telling me about her.

I’m amused that there are two distinct camps concerning the pronunciation of her name. There’s the “LO-han” camp, and the “lo-en” camp. Left to my own devices, I’d pronounce it “lo-en”, with equal stress on the syllables, but I’m Irish, and I’m not sure how she pronounces it. Comedian Bill Maher was here in Madison a couple days ago, and several of the local newslings pronounced his name “MA-Her”, with two distinct syllables. (Useless sidebar: Maher’s dad was a radio announcer.)

I don’t really care to know anything about Ms. Lohan’s life. I take it she’s a self-absorbed young woman with deep issues and deep personal problems, and Lord knows there are more than enough people like that to go around. Being the father of a young woman just a bit older than Ms. Lohan, I hope she gets the help she obviously needs to repair herself.

That would seem to be a deeply personal matter, but – I guess I’m showing my age again.