Thursday, May 19, 2011

Gettin' Old

I don’t know very much at all about Lady Gaga, except, of course, that she’s famous for being famous. My wife said “I wouldn’t know her if I walked by her on the street.” Forbes Magazine, famous for making lists of things, says Gaga is the most powerful celebrity on the planet.


Oprah could buy and sell Lady Gaga a hundred times over, but apparently Gaga has more Facebook fans and Twitter followers, which makes her more “powerful” under the Forbes metric. Oprah, by the way, was supplanted at the top of the list by Gaga, and Oprah is now #2.

That Bieber boy is #3, and if you haven’t seen him in the past year, welcome back from your extended imprisonment in some Arab nation. The rockers U-2 are #4 and Sir Reginald Dwight, a/k/a and d/b/a Elton John, is #5.

There are few people of any substance whatsoever, save for Oprah, on the list. The names are those of the court-jesters, jocks, and singers so many people go gaga over. Tiger Woods is #6 and LeBron James is #10, representing two of the most shallow and self-absorbed personalities you could encounter. A couple good movie-makers (James Cameron and Jerry Bruckheimer) are below the middle of the pack, and author Steven King is #79.

Of the whole mess of them, Steven King is probably the only one I’d enjoy meeting, and he’s the only author on the list. Johnny Depp would be fun, I’m sure, at a cocktail party. Blowhards Limbaugh and Boeck are on the list, of course, but no other left- or right-wing shouters.

Reese Witherspoon, a Stanford dropout, is probably as smart as anybody on the list, and I think she’d light up a cocktail party, too. Mark Wahlberg is on the list, and I’m sure my wife would LOVE to have a drink or two with him.

But this Gaga girl is the most powerful? Lord, I’m getting old.

At least the Kardashian girls didn’t make it. And Britney Spears didn't, either.


  1. Jeez, Tim. Gaga is famous for being famous? I would argue that she's famous for putting together some songs and stage performances that have attracted hundreds of millions of eyeballs and earholes. That's otherwise known as talent. Plus she knows how to keep herself in the headlines, not due to what she's putting in her body or with whom she's sleeping, but because her personality is outrageous. She's got swagger and a knack for making heads turn.

    I'm not a fan, but I don't think it's unfair to say that Gaga rivals people like Madonna (her inspiration), Michael Jackson, Elvis and Little Richard when it comes to creating a fuss. Plus, she can actually write a song, sing it well and add an over-the-top performance to sell it.

    Yeah, Oprah's probably more powerful, but the guys at Forbes understand that Oprah isn't going to sell as many magazines or generate as many clicks as Lady Gaga.

  2. And here all those people spent all those years worrying about a few nuke bombs........


  3. Colonel,

    >> My wife said “I wouldn’t know her if I walked by her on the street.” <<

    Oh, yes she would! Nobody else wears meat dresses or walks on 18" high "cruel shoes", as Steve Martin called them years ago.

    The Town Crank