Monday, February 7, 2011

Not-so-Super Moments (But Way To Go, Pack!!!)

Now that the Lombardi Trophy is back where it belongs, and the fellow pictured above has been named Super Bowl MVP, I have a few bones to pick with….well, I’m not sure who to pick them with, but they are bones which need picking.

Could we work a deal where Fox does NOT do the Super Bowl? Even though that horrible Joe Buck seemed to realize it was best to shut up and let the video speak for itself, there are plenty of other reasons for the League to put Fox on double-secret probation for a couple years. The NFL and other similar jock organizations are prone to wrap themselves in the flag on every possible occasion, but this was a bit much.

We don’t need to hear the Declaration of Independence read during the pre-game show. And the President of the United States should just say “good luck to both teams; looking forward to a great game” and not debate that Irish Ass as part of the pre-game.

North Texas needs to provide better weather.

The League, The Cowboys, The “Stadium Authority”, or whoever, needs to figure out the seating chart BEFORE game-day. A buddy and I drove from Minneapolis to New Orleans for Super Bowl 9 (1975, Vikes vs. Steelers) which was supposed to be played in the all-new Super Dome. The Dome wasn’t finished, so the game wound up being played at Tulane Stadium. Our seats were crappy, it was cold, and I’ve held a grudge against the League ever since. (I know, misplaced rage. I should be mad at the contactor(s) hired to build the Super Dome. Ten years later, when I was living in New Orleans, I understood their concept of time is not the same as in the rest of the nation.)

Perhaps we should find a singer for the National Anthem who: 1.) knows the words 2.) doesn’t think it’s all about her and 3.) sings the melody line without attempting to embellish every syllable and note. While we’re at it, we also need better audio techs for the half-time show. Somebody should have noticed that Fergie’s mike wasn’t on, in the first few seconds of the first song.

Oh, and by the way, congratulations to the Packers. I wrote them off after the Detroit game, and am still amazed at how they closed out their season – true champions!


  1. Colonel,

    You're a musician-type person: what is that vocal technique called...that warbling, yodeling, zooming up and down with a single base note? I know there's a term for it but darned if I can remember.

    I was impressed that Aguilera sang the National Anthem a capella BUT, as soon as I heard her do that first bit of whatever-that's-called, I 'bout stopped listening. I didn't see her sing the Anthem live, but when Whitney Houston sang it, she kept that stuff to a minimum (especially on the last note) ... AND SHE KNEW THE BLANKETY-BLANK WORDS!

    Thankfully, I missed the half-time show. We watched the game at my friend, Nick's, house. Nick is a very forlorn Pittsburgh fan today! Anyway, at half-time I drove Janet and Eleanor home and then drove back (only about 3 miles one-way) I was blissfully unaware of all the silly hoopla.

    Suggestion for the NFL: how about going back to half-time shows featuring high school marching bands? And another thing: when the National Anthem is sung, make sure the singer has sheet music in front of him/her. And another thing, make darned sure that the Marine Band or the Army Band or the Navy Band plays the tune. Part of the attraction of Houston's rendition of 'The Star-Spangled Banner' was the accompaniment of that great band.

    I loved the pictures I saw of the daughter of one of the Packers making "snow" angels in the confetti on the field after the game. The Green Bay Packers are America's Team!

    The Town Crank

  2. "...what is that vocal technique called...that warbling, yodeling, zooming up and down with a single base note?"

    I'm sure your wife knows the correct word, Mr. Town Crank, but I call it "the goat sound". Boy bands like NSync and 98 Degrees perfected it a decade ago.

  3. Prolly a variation of "scat," which typically used a consonant (such as 'd'), thus creating a rhythmic component as well as a melodic improvisation.

    OR a variation of "jubilus" which was non-syllabic/non-punctuated vocal movement used in Gregorian Chant.

    Obviously, not the same as....

  4. I think the word you're looking for is melisma. Martin Luther preached against them, since they obscured the sacred text that was being sung. Maybe the NFL should find a nice Lutheran singer next year.

  5. Melisma would fit! Usually shorter than jubilus, more often found 'midst a word rather than on the final syllable.

    Luther was obviously a prototypical Puritan. Joyless fellow.

  6. Ordinary Jill,

    Close! I'm sure it was a different word, but "melisma" is close to desribing what I'm talking about.

    From what I see on Wikipedia, melisma is actually part of the melody, as in "Angels We Have Heard on High" and the Glo-o-o-o-oria part. All those notes are on the sheet music.

    What these singers do today reminds me of gospel singing groups, but in a bad way. That improvisational melisma I think has a different name. It seems to me it was some Latin-sounding thing for that icky warbling.

    The Town Crank

  7. Colonel,

    >> Boy bands like NSync and 98 Degrees perfected it a decade ago. <<

    It's been around considerably longer than that, old thing!

    The Town Crank

    P.S., Janet does not know the term I'm trying to think of; that's why I asked another pro.